Paul's Planet

Dear Blog~~

come again to say something

just wanna to say....
but don't know what should i say...
feel like many things in my heart...
but~
i can't even say it out...
can't tell anybody...
just keep in myself...

once upon a time, i really hope that there is someone that really will lend his/her time to me..even just a really short time...hearing my story give the shoulder for me...i'm appreciate with it!
but...
i know it's impossible!
cause...
no one will really spend their time just to listen to me with an untitled story...
and for more...they will even say it out just like a funny story to everyone!!

Really...really....really....tired with everything
but just keep on cheer myself...
telling myself that: "Tomorrow is another perfect day! go for it! i will gonna see something new and gain something new!"

even doing this also make me so damn tired! really wanna to give up everything!
stop giving out my feeling...
once it's given out...what is waiting for me just the endless hurt!
and when i take my heart back...it's always full of the wound and become scar on it!

i had lost my way to cheer myself up..
better to close myself and locked it in a dark dark place...and don't give any hope from now on...
because more i hope, and more i hurt!

So...just telling myself now...
don't believe in anybody...just believe myself...
no one really will like you or love you!!
so...don't hope they will really care about you!

no one is really perfect so do i!!
Really TIRED at this moment!

Hope someone is here for me now...
but...who will it be?
there's always an unknown answer........

dear BLOG~~


sometimes, humans are really so damn funny!! XD


when you like something...you will treat like you don't like...
but
when you really don't like that thing...you will like to be pretend to like that thing!


really wanna to ask with the person:"don't you feel tired with all of this?!"


seriously...i'm really tired to see those thing...


when i start to dislike...i will think that those things hurts my eyes!!
perhaps...maybe there is some people like to do those thing (means like to pretend)...pro in doing that...maybe even a Veteran in doing all of that! who knows right?! *there's are so many types of people in this world with so many different characters! like myself...i can even have two character in me! so it will not be weird when there are people can doing this!* 


at this moment...
when i make myself to think about the incident that happen...i realize that...i'm 21 already in this year! it's time for me to be mature...to be think more useful things but not blaming anybody just like a childish boy anymore!
[maybe, i'm still like a boy like what they said! therefore, i think it's time for me to change!] so i need to say THANKS for telling me this!


well...actually it's just a messy blog with messy feeling...cause i was totally confused! 


i had pray to the god...ask for the guild from HIM....lend me to the right way! 


[p.s: any words use in here is not mean to saying or satire on anybody~ don't substitute yourself into this! this is not for shooting anybody~]


lastly, my dear blog, just wanna to say that: maybe i had used the tough word and maybe hurt someone  there because of the out of control feeling! and now..i'm really tired on hurting people anymore! so..i think just put everything down~ and let it gone~~~ SORRY there~

Well, it's just a post for me to say what i really feel!